look no pants
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize