I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize