In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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