i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
another moral hangover. fuck.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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