I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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