she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
