Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
