Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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