Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
