I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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