A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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