I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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