Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
