His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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