And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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