im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize