My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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