i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
