i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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