I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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