How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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