Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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