Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
