Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
