FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize