I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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