Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.