my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i think im in europe. pls send help