I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I love you.
Bad choice
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
