I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
