I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Someone signed my nipple.
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