no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
from now on my penis is your penis
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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