the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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