We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
