Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
