its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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