so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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