one two three fourrrrnication!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
