there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
