She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
