Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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