i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
