i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Farmville is her only friend.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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