You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
