She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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