If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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