i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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