We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize