you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
