Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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