She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dicks are not precious.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
