my sisters under your porch take her home
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
