Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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