If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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