id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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