No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
