Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
