it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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