At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
FUCK WHALES
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